I first realized I was black - well, maybe the first time I remember 'being black' was in fifth grade. And since then, I've had a series of events that have added to this definitive. Starting out, I played into the not-loving-the-black-parts-of-me. But then at some point, I started loving me. I loved everything I previously despised. My eyes, my lips, my overall more prominent features.
You know what's interesting, all the things I struggled with back then, Curtis LOVES and voices it freely. Each time, I'm in awe. It just amazes me that God would bring me someone who would love all the parts I despised. CRAZY! I'm thankful though!
When I got a hold of this self-love, I also connected with my true calling, which is, changing the way people see us as black people. There are so many stereotypes about us. Some of which are true..for some, and none are true for us all. So it's kinda pointless, ya know? Whatever, however, I want to do the work of internal changing required to make more global changes. This is my lifelong work. The first step is self-mastery.
I'm getting closer to this desire by reaching for awareness + excellence, by practicing meditation. This is helping me to build my mind, strengthen my mentality. I'm taking the primal and most crucial steps to leave an intentional legacy, write my own story.
Let's take charge, write our own stories. Let's take responsibility for the history that's passed on. We may not be proud of all the aspects of our history to-date. But eh, slavery being written wasn't necessarily in our control. Isn't it a beautiful thing that we can change the direction? That we can do something different?
This month, with the Golden: Black Excellence Series, We'll be sharing our individual black stories in an effort to imprint self-told stories. Want to share your story with our audience?, email us at email@example.com.
Let's get your story told - from your perspective.
Fight the good fight.
I've been hit several times up to now, but THIS blow has been harder to digest and really put me in place to check my reality.
Let me first apologize for my absenteeism in all facets and to all people. I sincerely apologize to those I've let down over the last couple months - or years. It has been a life-changing struggle, but I think I'm over the hump, with a renewed perspective ready to get back on the horse again.
So June 1, my granny (my God-given mother) passed away. And like most, I have had many feelings of grief, self-blame, isolation, uncertainty, and much more. And to be honest, it still hurts like hell. And I still blame myself at times. And just in random conversation, I'll think of her. And at night, when I'm preparing for bed, laying on my side, I picture her because she would always lay on the couch on her side, with her arm on her hip. I'm just still panning out what her sickness and absence on this earth means to me and my future world.
But as a way of moving forward and being transparent, I wanted to share it with y'all. And I'm well aware that I can't sit out every time I get hit, but I just couldn't stomach this one.
I mean, if I'm truly transparent, it's really been like a 3(to 5)-year roller coaster with ups and downs, for me. Graduating college, getting married, working my first real + stable job then quitting, starting multiple businesses, changing my diet and lifestyle, being homeless, being drained, being whole again, rediscovering my passion, redefining my identity.
But I'd be lying if I didn't tell you, I appreciate it ALL. And I do mean ALL. The good and the bad. I'm really growing in a way, that I don't think I would have otherwise. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. But I'm up for it again! I'm willing and ready to take on what lies ahead.
I heard something powerful in one of TD Jakes sermons: "When you hold on to your past, you do it at the expense of your destiny." This has helped me tremendously. I'm thankful for those words. So here I am. I hope you will continue to journey with me.