Fight the good fight.
I've been hit several times up to now, but THIS blow has been harder to digest and really put me in place to check my reality.
Let me first apologize for my absenteeism in all facets and to all people. I sincerely apologize to those I've let down over the last couple months - or years. It has been a life-changing struggle, but I think I'm over the hump, with a renewed perspective ready to get back on the horse again.
So June 1, my granny (my God-given mother) passed away. And like most, I have had many feelings of grief, self-blame, isolation, uncertainty, and much more. And to be honest, it still hurts like hell. And I still blame myself at times. And just in random conversation, I'll think of her. And at night, when I'm preparing for bed, laying on my side, I picture her because she would always lay on the couch on her side, with her arm on her hip. I'm just still panning out what her sickness and absence on this earth means to me and my future world.
But as a way of moving forward and being transparent, I wanted to share it with y'all. And I'm well aware that I can't sit out every time I get hit, but I just couldn't stomach this one.
I mean, if I'm truly transparent, it's really been like a 3(to 5)-year roller coaster with ups and downs, for me. Graduating college, getting married, working my first real + stable job then quitting, starting multiple businesses, changing my diet and lifestyle, being homeless, being drained, being whole again, rediscovering my passion, redefining my identity.
But I'd be lying if I didn't tell you, I appreciate it ALL. And I do mean ALL. The good and the bad. I'm really growing in a way, that I don't think I would have otherwise. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. But I'm up for it again! I'm willing and ready to take on what lies ahead.
I heard something powerful in one of TD Jakes sermons: "When you hold on to your past, you do it at the expense of your destiny." This has helped me tremendously. I'm thankful for those words. So here I am. I hope you will continue to journey with me.